You made me cry and you don't even care
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
