I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
