Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
