Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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