All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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