I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
they're like a gay fantastic four
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
