i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize