Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so explain again why im purple
no
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Of course I have a pirate flag
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
