i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
