dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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