she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
