Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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