apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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