Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
