I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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