Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
