and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
