i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
