My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
