i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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