I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Text me some of your sweat
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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