Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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