R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
