Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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