Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
ok first of all what the fuck
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
