She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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