I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
