mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
