If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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