I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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