i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
