She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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