You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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