Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
