You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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