All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
