onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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