Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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