Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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