Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
