WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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