idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Don't EVER smell your tampon
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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