i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
