Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
