ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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