He kissed a someone with a penis
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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