I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
