i think my mom watched the whole time
I just cut my nipple shaving
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
