You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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