I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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