I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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