we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
