Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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