you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
