i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
And then he peed in my hair
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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