at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
