Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
