Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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