i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
