Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
