Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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