Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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