We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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