Umm I'm too high to move.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
