my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize