I'm going to jail i love you
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
